Category Archives: Interviews

What I learned from Video Production (Besides Video Production)

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It’s finals time y’all! I am pleased to say that another semester of undergrad is almost behind me. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this semester is how it’s ok to not be a perfectionist. This semester I took a video production class. Now I’ve never been shy when it comes to being on camera, but put me behind it and tell me operate and edit the thing… I freak out. So needless to say this video class was a bit of a challenge. Initially, I beat myself up because my videos were not perfect– they were filled with jump cuts, rough edits and all sorts of beginners mistakes. However, by the end of the semester I am pleased to say I know a lot more than I did going in and most importantly I have learned, it’s ok to be a beginner. Since my last birthday, this seems to be a theme in my life– learning to just begin. And I am happy to be doing it. One of my favorite speaker, Josh Shipp says, “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” I couldn’t agree more.

My friend Hannah and I, working late in the lab the night before finals… Coffee is our friend too.

So check out my final project… I hope you enjoy! :) Also, stay tuned for more videos on upcoming events and local hot spots in Tulsa, OK.

 

Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!!

Katie Hoffman

A Modern Day Queen: My Interview with Christine Hassler

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This summer I had the chance to go to LA for a life-changing retreat, led by author speaker and life-coach Christine Hassler. I have been following Christine’s work for years, ever since I came across her book Twenty-Something, Twenty Everything at Barnes and Noble. Her book was incredible, her blog is inspiring but the thing that kept me following Christine was the genuine love the radiates from everything she does. You may wonder if you can really feel like someone cares about you via phone and email, thanks to Christine, I am able to say with full confidence… you can. When I finally met her this summer, three years after I first read her book, she welcomed me to the retreat like she had known me for years.

In one of my favorite quotes, Marianne Williamson describes a queen, “A queen is wise. She has earned her serenity, not having had it bestowed on her but having passed her tests. She has suffered and grown more beautiful because of it. She has proved she can hold her kingdom together. She has become its vision. She cares deeply about something bigger than herself. She rules with authentic power.”

I can think of no better example of a queen than Christine Hassler and I am so honored to share this interview. A couple of months ago, we had a little chat about, relationships, sex and learning to love the common denominator in all relationships– yourself.

Katie Hoffman: From our conversations and from reading your book, I know you have been though a lot of experiences in the dating and relationship world. Tell us how you have been able to find consistent love in your life regardless of what your current relationship status is.

Christine Hassler: I’ve been everything; everything but a widow, I’ve never been a widow! [We both laugh] I have found that the best way to be content is to develop a strong relationship with yourself. Many times, especially as women, our sense of contentment is dependent on our romantic relationships rather than ourselves. There are challenges in all relationships– grief, aches and pains, there is no status that isn’t challenging. But these challenges and contrasts have shown me different sides of myself, different ways in which to learn lessons and integrate. All of our relationships are mirrors and every mirror has helped me fall more in love with myself. Even in challenging relationships, I have learned to ask myself, “What am I learning from this person?”. I have learned to watch how I treat myself in relationships, because the more loving I am to me the more loving I am able to be with the other person.

KH: You are a huge believer in self-love. I am too! What are some tangible steps 20-somethings can follow that will lead them to more self-love and acceptance?

CH: It’s all about support. I have an amazing circle of friends, coaches and teachers that help me feel supported. We often depend on our romantic relationships to be the one source of love in our lives, and that’s not how it has to be. There are so many ways to get support and feel love. And Katie, I’m not in love with myself at times, I’m a human being and I get mad, frustrated and everything else with myself. But when I do feel like that, I reach out to my support system. When looking for a support system, find people who reflect the relationships you want for yourself. Anyone on a personal growth journey, needs a coach, therapist or teacher to help unravel the thoughts inside their head. Find a teacher or mentor who has been where you are and ask for their support. Also, a personal spiritual practice is huge– whether it’s meditation, prayer or a place that makes you feel more connected, it’s important to find what works for you. When it comes to finding a life-coach or therapist, it’s a lot like dating. Try out a couple of people. Look for someone you can be totally yourself around and that you don’t feel judges you. It’s so important that the person holds space of compassion but that they also challenge you to move forward.

KH: In your book, you talk about the twenty-something triangle, “Who am I, What do I want, and How do I get it?” Do you think answering these questions is an important part of learning to love yourself?

CH: Absolutely. The Who Am I question is not based on what you do and who you are with; knowing who you are from an intrinsic place and not an external source is so important. Getting to the core of Who Am I helps us get away from defining ourselves based on the external. Answering this question allows us to look at the others from a more authentic place. Instead of asking questions from a place of fear, like “how can I get ahead or how can I stop the pain”, we are able to answer from a place of love and not from our issues. When we answer from love, for ourselves and others, we are able to clearly see what we attract. It’s so much more organic; there’s no pushing or forcing to get what we want, we just allow it.

KH: A lot of twenty-something’s (myself included) get very caught up in the idea of perfection. How can we find balance between developing ourselves as individuals and dating? Is there a certain amount of time someone should just be single? And if so, how do we know when it’s time to “get back in the game”?

CH: Well if you haven’t had a period of life being single, happy and complete with nothing missing, you have got to experience it. It’s important to feel who you are without a guy. Despite how far we have come, there is still a tendency for all of us to get lost with men and forget our purpose. The best relationships come from two complete people, walking their own paths, in the same direction. There needs to be a period of time when you are having a relationship with yourself– in fact, it’s a gift you are so worthy of giving to you. It’s so hard to NOT dive in when you’re in a new relationship. It’s natural to focus on relationships, and to avoid our own work, or pick a project relationship that causes us to lose sight of ourselves. Making sure we know ourselves before a relationship helps us not lose focus when we enter one. Does that make sense?

KH: Yes! It does, thank you. I know one of women’s biggest concerns with saying no is coming across as rude. How can women avoid being rude?

CH: Women over think men way to much! Most men stop listening after no. My advice is just be polite, say you are flattered but not dating right now, that’s good enough.

KH: Perfect! That’s helpful, for sure. Once, we are dating, in a relationship or married, how can we continue to grow as individuals while being in a partnership?

CH: We never stop growing. It’s important to remember that there isn’t a “there” that will make you happy. So just except that you are always growing. In relationships, take personal responsibility for your own personal balance. Keep relationships with friends and your own external support system. These people will help hold you accountable and make sure you aren’t losing yourself. It is very important to give to the other person but it’s also very important to keep giving to yourself. And lastly, find someone who has their own path and who is committed to their own growth as well.

KH: Communication is one of the biggest obstacles couples face, any tips on successful communication?

CH: Yes! The most important thing about communication is to be authentic and honest, not strategic. Focus on figuring out a solution not on saying what the other person needs to hear. Don’t focus on being a people pleaser, remember to speak your truth with love. Also, check your perception and make sure that what you are saying is being received. When someone communicates to you, try clarifying by reflecting back to them so you are clear about what is being said. It’s also important to not communicate in upset. We all get angry, and it’s crucial that we release those emotions but not directly at the person when we are very upset. Sometimes it’s best to just say, “You know what, I’m a little crazy right now, I’m gonna go deal with it and we can talk soon”. This allows us to be authentic and not speak from a place of strategy and emotion.

KH: How do you handle heartbreak and break ups?

CH: You gotta go through it. Breathe. That’s the biggest thing. I actually wrote a blog with tips for a break up. First of all, give yourself time to grieve. Whether it’s eating, shopping, complaining or crying it’s all part of it and it is necessary for healing. After that, look for what you learned and eliminate contact with them. You can’t get over someone and learn the lessons when you are still in communication with them.

KH:   A lot of people believe that sexual intimacy changes the dynamic of a relationship. What are your thoughts on sex in and out of relationships?

CH: Sexuality is personal  to everyone. What I’ve gleaned from being a women and working with them is that very few can have sex and be physical and not have feelings for the guy. Friends with benefits is possible but why do you want to have sex with someone you are not connected to? Many women argue, “I’m so empowered sexually that I can have casual sex” but true sexual power is treating it as something sacred. Also, when a new relationship is starting, it helps to not have sex at first, you will be able to see the potential partner much clearer. When women have sex our bodies release a chemical called oxytocin, this chemical gives us a little high just like eating chocolate and is likely to blind us to traits about the other person we might otherwise see. My advice… take the time to get to know them and find out if they are someone worthy.

KH:   One of the things I love about you is how well-balanced you are. You have this go-get-em mentality that has led you to success yet you have this beautiful feminine energy that allows you to let life flow. How does this translate to relationships? Do you believe that women today should still let men take the initiative or is it okay for women to take the lead?

CH: Well, what do you want to create? The natural dating dynamic is for the man to be the pursuer. There is a lot of polarity with this topic, most women want a man who is decisive and who picks them, but they get impatient. I know how it is, patience has always been a challenge for me. I think it’s best to sit back and let the man lead. I mean you don’t have to do NOTHING. You can let him know you are interested by flirting– saying hi–but ultimately… the man needs to step up. If you are interested in guys who aren’t stepping up, is that really the man you want? The feminine energy is about sitting back and surrendering. Does that make sense?

KH: Definitely. Is there anything you wish you would have known about love 10 years ago that you could pass on to today’s 20-something women?

CH: A lot of people evaluate the success of a relationship by it’s longgevity, that’s not true. There are many times in my life that it took relationships falling apart to learn the lesson. The purpose of every relationship is to learn, grow and love everyone who comes along. Some people are just journey partners and are not meant to be lifetime partners; they are still just as important.  Don’t enter something thinking, how is this going to last forever? enter asking, what am I learning? Also, that whole married by thirty thing, chunk it out the window! It puts pressure on you and clouds vision in picking a partner. Picking the best partner and father is way more important than being married before 30.

The Coolest Psychic I Know

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I used to be skeptical anytime I heard the word psychic. At mention of the word, I immediately had an image of an old, raspy voiced women, peering into a crystal ball promising answers about the future—not my thing. However, last November I met Brandie Chrisman and my opinion about psychics changed. I sat in a brightly lit room among twenty-five other people, all eager to hear what Brandie, the twenty-something psychic medium, had to say. I sat there half expecting the devil himself to come up from the floor and half expecting to hear a bunch of  far-fetched predictions from dead people, but what I heard was neither haunting nor far-fetched. In a gentle and comforting way, Brandie connected with people’s loved ones who had passed and delivered specific messages to people in the room. These messages provided closure, peace and direction for a number of desperately searching viewers.In one particularly moving message, Brandie vividly described a music box asking if anyone recognized it. A woman near the front of the room raised her hand, with tears in her eyes and responded, “That’s mine—it was from my brother.” Brandie went on to explain that her brother said he loved her and that everything was okay. The crowd sat in awe at the accuracy of the reading and the peace the woman felt. I am honored to not only know Brandie as the psychic medium, but as my friend. I can say from personal experience that she is the real deal; she operates her business with integrity, honesty and compassion that is rare and valuable. I sat down with the young mother of two to ask her some questions about what she does, the misconceptions and how it feels to be a living her purpose:

Katie: “Okay Brandie, in your own words, what exactly is a psychic medium? What’s a psychic?”
Brandie: “A psychic medium is an individual that can communicate with those in spirit. Psychic is something very different. We are all born psychic, so that is nothing phenomenal. A psychic is just someone who uses their intuition as a profession. A medium has spiritual communication with the other-side, put the two together and you have me!”

K: “Okay, I get it. So since we are all born psychic how long would you say you have known about your special psychic gifts? Have you known about this ability your whole life?”
B: “Yes, I have my whole life to an extent, but around fifteen everything got amped up. I started having dreams where people who had passed on would have conversations with me. On a psychic level, it was in my face all the time. Like sitting across from you I would get images of your past and feel the feelings you were feeling. When I was twenty, right after the death of a family friend, I thought, ‘Okay I need to be looking into this.’”

K: “That sounds so cool, but really scary! Was it scary?”
B: “Umm… I would say confusing, but yes aspects of it were scary. Like you feel like you’re not alone, but you know you are, right? A lot of the fear came from my spiritual conditioning before all this happened. I grew up Baptist and I thought something Satanic was happening. I didn’t have the vocabulary to explain what was going on other than what I had been taught—it was evil and bad.” 

K: “That must have been so difficult to go through at such a young age. Did you tell anyone?” 
B: “I didn’t really tell anyone for awhile, because I didn’t know what to say. When I did tell my Mom she just said I was imagining things and that I’d be okay. I started doing research and finding answers around twenty-one. I went to a John Holland workshop in Austin; that helped so much.”

K: “And in just five years, you have come so far! You are so young and doing exactly what are called to do, how does that feel?” 
B: “There is a large part that feels amazing, while there is a small fraction that feels like I have that much more to prove. Are there haters? There is jealousy, just like in any field, but not really because of age. Most people in my field have been so loving towards me, but also like ‘Oh, she’s so cute’ [we both patted the table in a ‘she’s so cute’ sort of way] but that’s only until the gifts are displayed then they are like, ‘oh, well okay.’ If you have a gift you have it whether you’re sixteen or sixty, if you can do it, you can do it. It all depends on your level of training. Just like a better trained singer is going to feel more comfortable singing in front of people. Just like in anything, it’s about the training” 

K: “What are the most challenging and most rewarding aspects of what you do?”
B: “The most challenging parts would have to be getting over the stereotype of what I do, people don’t know from experience they just know what they have been told. Also, getting up in front of people doing galleries [doing a psychic readings to a group of people]. Getting in front of people like that is a very vulnerable feeling. I am a very emotional person, and so much of what I do is emotional. So it is challenging to stay detached emotionally to insure I am bringing the essence of the messages through. The biggest rewards would have to be teaching; witnessing that spiritual evolution. I love seeing the light turn on for people. Of course, seeing the healing that takes place in each session; that’s why I do what I do.” 

K: “So you are saying people generally leave with peace and healing, not like something evil and creepy?”
B: “Right, it’s not like an exorcism! It is definitely a unique and healing experience—peaceful—for me, for them, my assistant, anyone in the room really. I have never, never, never, never… I said never like five times HaHa, anyway… had a client who experienced a negative message from the other side. They are feeling love. Sometimes reconnecting with a person they haven’t seen in twenty years.” 

K: “That sounds incredible, but there are so many skeptics. How do you deal with that?”
B: “Skeptical is good, especially in this field. There are a lot of fakes. Cynical is different. I don’t like it when someone is so hardened that they can’t have the experience. Like they are just out to prove me wrong or something, ya know? They can’t receive anything I have to say if they are cynical.”

K: “If you had a client that was skeptical and a little afraid, what would you say to them?”
B: “I tell my clients the only difference between them and I is that I have been trained to speak a foreign language; that language is the mediumship.” 

K: “Well there are a lot of fakes out there? (Miss Cleo anyone?) How do you know how to separate the fluff from the real deal, like yourself?”
B: “We are all psychic, so trust your gut feeling. Also, listen for word of mouth, if they are good you will hear about it and if they aren’t you will hear that too. Look at their credentials, although they aren’t everything, make sure to look at those. Do the same things you would do if you were looking for a doctor or a psychologist.” 

K: “What advice would you have for someone who wants to go into a spiritual or emotional field? Whether it’s as a psychic, counselor, or teacher, what would you advise?”
B: “Oh gosh, stay grounded, spiritually stay grounded. I see so many people who are not connected to the life they are living. We may be doing something spiritual but we are here to experience this life as well. Also, take your time, because once you are out there in your field there is no turning back—take your time and don’t forget we are always still developing.”

K: “That is wonderful advice. Thank you! What are your spiritual beliefs?”
B: “They are all encompassing. I’m definitely a spiritual person but I have no specific belief system other than to do the best you can, give as much as you can and love as much as you can. That is what I believe.” 

K: “Well those sounds like great beliefs to me! One more question, how does it feel to be a twenty-something already living your dream?”
B: “I don’t know… it’s a nice feeling but also a lot of pressure. A long time ago I realized I was doing things faster than most people: getting married, having kids. Sometimes it’s exciting and sometimes it’s scary. But ya know, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

You can check out Brandie’s upcoming events and mailing list by visiting her website. Make sure to like her page on Facebook to stay updated on all of her exciting happenings like her gallery with James McGuire, Saturday November, 17th at 6:00 in Tulsa, OK. For more information click here.

 

To living YOUR dream,

Katie Hoffman 


Behind the Scenes of Sleepy Hollow

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Since decided to truly pursue my dreams of an acting career, I have had the opportunity to be in two Original plays at Rogers State University.The first full length play is extra special; I am blessed to have a principle role and the original adaption was written by two of my friends. In the first “Behind the Scenes of Sleepy Hallow”, I interview one of the incredible new playwrights, Josh Gammon. Check out the interview and of course, come check out the show! 

 

The Legend of Sleepy Hallow will be playing at The Will Rogers Auditorium in Claremore, OK October 25-27, and November 1-3 at 7:07 pm. There is also an extra spooky showing on Halloween night at 11:00pm. For more information, click here.

 Enjoy the interview!

See ya there!

Katie Hoffman 

The Lovely Allison Lloyds

Allison Lloyds Rocks!

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The Lovely Allison Lloyds

Allison and I connecting is a social media success story. A couple months ago, I discovered this inspiring woman and her growing NYC based therapy practice via twitter. I was immediately drawn to her blog by the beautiful pictures, clean layout and relevant topics– mindfulness, happiness and compassion (just to name a few). Over the past couple of months, I’ve had the pleasure of following Allison’s practice and getting to know her and her mission a little better. With love, compassion and understanding, she helps her clients and readers overcome the limiting beliefs holding them back and as a result, helps them and their relationships be the best they can be. In this interview, the thirty-one year old, Columbia graduate shares her journey to her dream career, gives loves advice to twenty-somethings and talks about her upcoming radio show with Gabrielle Bernstein (Uhhh….could she be any cooler??)

 Katie Hoffman: I absolutely love what you are doing Allison! Your writing is so compelling and I love your message of mindfulness. Have you always known you wanted to be a therapist and writer?

Allison Lloyds: Thank you, Katie! That is so kind of you. When I was a little girl, I actually dreamed of being a writer. I feel very lucky that I now have the chance to write short articles on my blog to help my clients and others out there in the world looking for support. I am hoping to focus more on writing over the summer months; it’s a passion of mine, so it’s something I want to make more time to pursue.

I have always loved helping others but was unsure of how to channel those feelings into a “real” career. As a result, when I graduated from Columbia in 2002, I put on my suit and set out to work in the corporate world, because that’s what I thought was best at the time. Looking back, working in a big corporation in both New York and London was a wonderful experience, I learned so much and met amazing people along the way…but I knew it ultimately wasn’t the right fit in the long run.

I think it’s important to remember that we can truly do anything we set our minds to. We can change our minds. We can start over fresh and blaze a new trail to find what really makes us feel fulfilled. Having this sense of true possibility is what encouraged me to take the leap and change my career track. It’s something I feel very proud of.

 KH: I completely agree! Being able to reinvent ourselves is one of the funnest parts of being human! How would you sum up the deeper mission behind what you do? What made you decide to go into the psychology field?

AL: My mission is to support my clients in finding and creating more happiness, peace, and cultivating healthy relationships.

When I took some time (in my late-20’s) to think about what would make my life happier and more meaningful, I found myself responding with an answer that was a bit convoluted. I initially thought that working in a corporate setting was the only way to go – that this was the only way to “be a success”. But, alas…this was ultimately not what brought me any sense of joy or meaning. It was all about earning money and feeling some sense of “this is what I should be doing, right?!”

I believe that I was suffering from some inner-conflict at that time. I felt that spending time with family and friends was important, yet my long hours kept me at my desk and away from those I loved. I felt really disconnected and overwhelmed. When I did finally set aside time with those close to me, I noticed that I was extremely stressed and tired, which made it hard to connect and truly be present in my life. I felt like my sense of direction was failing me and I was going around in circles. I was showing up to work and doing my best, but I felt like a hamster on a wheel – running and running…but getting nowhere fast. I had to make a change.

I took some time to explore what would make things more meaningful and positive in my life. After much thought (and support from those around me) this meant helping others and building a career I was truly passionate about  which was psychology and becoming a licensed therapist.

Allison is the founder of the NYC based therapy practice Synergetic Psychotherapy.

 KH: That is so awesome! I know that so many of my readers and myself will really relate to that journey. On your blog you talk a lot about mindfulness, but you are also very driven and goal oriented. Is there a trick to finding balance? How does someone create and pursue the vision they have for themselves while still remaining present and content in the moment?

AL: This is a great question, Katie! Thank you for bringing this up.

Mindfulness is becoming increasingly common in the world of psychology and therapy. Increasing amounts of research continues to demonstrate the effectiveness of mindfulness in helping individuals to deal with a wide range issues including stress, anxiety, depression, insomnia, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, borderline personality disorder and chronic pain. Mindfulness is something which I have become much more interested in – and it’s something that I use in my work with clients.

Just a bit of quick background - mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to whatever you’re experiencing, as it’s happening in the present. It’s about being wholly in the moment. Being mindful means becoming more aware of your thoughts, your feelings and emotions as well as your behaviors, simply recognizing them as they are, without judging them in any shape or form.

When you’re being mindful, you’re not being overwhelmed by thoughts, memories, emotions, worries, fears, plans, daydreams and other distractions (there are so many distractions these days!) You’re mind isn’t dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. You are focusing your attention on what you’re doing and experiencing right now, in the present, as it’s happening before you.

On a personal level, I have found that mindfulness has helped me to experience what is going on in my life without becoming overwhelmed. Instead of struggling to escape, avoid or bury painful thoughts you feel able to experience and move through these feelings and situations with awareness, understanding and a dose of self-compassion.

Being mindful and focused on the present moment does not mean that you are floating aimlessly, without future goals or a sense of direction. In my opinion, it’s all about balance. It’s about having those future goals but also stepping back and being able to focus on what is going on in your life in the here and now. When life becomes routine and automatic, it’s easy to miss out on all of the exciting possibilities which are all around us.

KH:  I think I’m kind of getting the hang of this mindfulness stuff in my everyday life, but romantic relationships are a whole different story! What advice would you have for twenty-somethings currently in the dating world? How do we keep from going crazy?

AL: Let me just say, I have been there and completely understand how difficult the dating world can be! But, I think that putting yourself out there and meeting new people is a great way to grow and have some wonderful experiences.

Mindfulness can help you change the way you think and break out of the trap of old beliefs and mental programming which isn’t doing you any favors. When we are not aware of what is going on around us, we are more likely to feel disconnected and engage in unhealthy patterns which aren’t serving us well. It’s important to try to step back and pay attention to what truly matters in your life and what you want out of a romantic relationship. What are your needs? It’s important to really get to know yourself. Being aware of your values can help you live in a more mindful way and hopefully connect with another person who is the right fit. When we are living our lives on autopilot, we have no idea who or what is really influencing our decisions and actions. I work with my clients to help them get to a place where they are making healthy choices for themselves, separate from the pressures of society, parents and friends.

I also like to remind myself (and my clients) that being *too* serious and focused on certain areas of our life (like your relationship status) can prevent us from being happy and moving forward in a healthy way…it can actually get *in* the way!

There is a saying which I like to use in my work with clients: “What we resist persists.” Sometimes when we are busy trying to run from difficult feelings of stress, fear, anger, or loneliness, they seem to creep up on us and find us no matter how hard we try to get rid of them. Instead of resisting, try to focus on welcoming positive feelings into your life and becoming more accepting of what your life is in the here and now. Being single is not only okay – but it can be a fantastic opportunity to grow and learn about yourself and what you want out of life.

KH: This month the theme of your blog is compassion; from my experience and I’m sure many other twenty-something’s out there, the hardest person to give compassion to is ourselves. How can driven, goal-oriented, dreamers learn to not be so hard on themselves?

AL: Although some people view human nature as inherently cruel and selfish, we are capable of incredible acts of kindness and compassion.  Unfortunately, for many of us, this type kindness does not extend to the self.

Compassion is feeling care and warmth for yourself and for others. With compassion we are in a state of acceptance, love, and care for another person. However, as many of us know, it is sometimes easier to have feelings of compassion for other people (even strangers) when sometimes we don’t feel this way for ourselves or those close to us.

In place of compassion for ourselves, we often have other common responses like self-criticism and self-isolation. We experience shame, disappointment, guilt and anger. We beat ourselves up and sometimes we distance ourselves from those who care about us. This can leave us feelings stuck and alone, making it difficult to move forward and experience positive emotions.

I work with my clients to help them cultivate self-compassion, which gives them some alternatives to these difficult feelings. It is important to try to be warm and understanding towards our own pain, rather than ignoring it or beating ourselves up and to recognize that our pain, imperfections, and mistakes are part of the universal experience of being a human being.

The good news is that almost everyone can instinctively feel compassion for others, and the trick is to apply it to ourselves. Next time you are in an upsetting situation and either feeling sad or beating yourself up, try and let yourself feel some compassion. See if you can say “It’s alright, I’m human, and we all make mistakes at different times.” Emotionally giving yourself a hug rather as opposed to beating yourself up is an integral part of cultivating compassion. This may seem a bit silly or out there, but give it a try!

You can think of compassion like a muscle; the more you work it and focus on it, the stronger it becomes.

I will be speaking about this very topic (compassion) on Gabrielle Bernstein’s Hay House Radio Show on June 27th, 2012 at 12:00pm EST.

KH: Summer is right around the corner, what’s on your bucket list for the summer of 2012?

 AL: As I mentioned earlier, this summer I am hoping to set aside some more time to devote to writing…and fitting in a bit of relaxation. Taking care of yourself and setting aside time to relax is an important part of mental health.

I am a supporter of a wonderful organization by the name of Farm Sanctuary (http://www.farmsanctuary.org/), a nonprofit organizations based in upstate New York that operates the largest rescue and refuge network for farm animals in North America. One of my passions is animal rights advocacy, and I will be visiting Farm Sanctuary in July to learn more about the animals, many of which have been rescued and nursed back to health from slaughterhouses, stockyards and factory farms. It’s something I am very excited about.

I am also excited to be a special featured guest on my friend Gabrielle Bernstein’s Hay House Radio Show on June 27th at 12:00pm-1:00pm EST. The theme of the radio show will be “Let Compassion Be Your Compass”. On the radio show I will be speaking about my work with clients and the importance of compassion. I hope that you (and your readers) will tune in and participate!

 KH: Oh I will be tuning in for sure! Tell us a little bit about being mindful in the busiest, most fast-paced city in the world. Do you think it is more difficult?

 AL: I have spent most of my life in Manhattan and it’s such a special place, as I am sure you know from your time here! I do have to remind myself to practice mindfulness and compassion for myself and others as part of my daily routine.

In addition, I have found that in such a fast-paced environment it is important to let go of a degree of control. Sometimes things don’t go the way I would like – the subway gets stuck, the traffic is gridlocked – it helps to “go with the flow” as much as possible, instead of getting anxious and worked up. I like to call this “mental flexibility” and it’s something I discuss with my clients.

 KH: What three books would you recommend to twenty-somethings?

AL: The Now Effect, by Elisha Goldstein PhD, Spirit Junkie, by Gabrielle Bernstein and Farm Sanctuary, Changing Hearts and Minds About Animals and Food, by Gene Baur

KH: Do you have any words of wisdom to share with other aspiring therapists and counselors? Anything you wish you would have known at the beginning of your journey.

AL: Making the choice to embark on a career as a therapist/counselor was the best thing I ever did! I enjoy working with all of my clients and am constantly inspired by their strength and resilience. My clients are constantly teaching me how to be a better person and a better therapist.

A little piece of inspiration from the Synergetic Psychotherapy Facebook Page.

 KH: Last but not least: Favorite quote?

AL: “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” (-Karen Kaiser Clark)

       “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”―Joseph Campbell

To find out more about Allison, check out her website here. Show her some love by liking her page on facebook. And do yourself a favor, tune into her radio show with Gabrielle Bernstein June 27th, 2012 12:00 pm EST (more info here)

 

Love yall! <3

Katie Hoffman

A Little Bit of Moxie (Or How I Interviewed Tom Cruise)

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Recently I had the privilege of interviewing Tom Cruise and the rest of the cast of Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol at the Red Carpet premier in NYC. Several of you have asked me how I got that gig, so I thought I would write a post about it:

For as long as I can remember I have been following the saying, Fortune favors the bold. I’ve always had the idea that if something is going to happen it’s going to be because I put myself out there. In eight grade it got a date with a super cute life guard and at twenty-two it got me too NYC.

So now, to Tom Cruise. One morning at work I was waiting on a table, just like any other day. The guys at this particular were friendly, nice and very awake for 8:00 am! We talked about favorite movies, what they did and what I was doing in NYC. Before the end of the conversation they had explained that they worked in tv and I had mentioned I was an aspiring actress and host. One of the guys said, “Really, we are looking for someone to cover premiers in NYC.” I said, “You should pick me.” And he did. A couple of days later, he called me saying they needed a sub and although I had never done an interview before (especially on the red carpet) I thought, why not?

There is no denying the fact that I happened to be at the right place at the right time, most would even say I was lucky… which is true, I was very lucky. But what if instead of offering my assistance I would have thought, Oh well I’m too inexperienced, they wouldn’t be interested…? What if I would have been in a terrible mood when I went to work that morning, would I have hit it off with my new friends? In Katie Couric’s book The Best Advice I’ve Ever Got, she explains that in order to make your dreams happen you’ve got to have something she calls moxie aka: BE BOLD! She tells the story of how she got her first big interview; she went into the production companies lobby and refused to leave until she got to speak with the producer (respectfully, I’m sure) The book is filled with other stories about how successful, admirable people who are living their dreams have gotten to where they are. The all had one thing in common; a big dream and a whole lot of moxie.

So whatever it is you are dreaming of, whether it’s acting, asking the girl/guy out, asking for that raise or finally setting up a grad school interview, ask yourself what you have to lose. Most of the time, the answer to this question is just a little bit of pride. Now no one likes to feel embarrassed but when you consider that the reward could be a step closer to you ultimate goal, it is a small price to pay. So take a deep breath, say a little prayer and take that step. Sometimes that little bit of boldness is all it takes. I’m fully convinced that the doors we need open, it’s simply up to us to take that chance and walk on through ‘em :)

Without further ado…